


Say Something

by bearlytolerable



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: 5 Times, Drinking, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Silly, Sort of hurt/comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:54:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27443719
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearlytolerable/pseuds/bearlytolerable
Summary: Five times James almost said “I love you” and the one time he did.A piece written because I have no patience for my own slow burn.
Relationships: Female Shepard/James Vega
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	Say Something

He remembered that night. How quiet it was after they arrived back at the Normandy. How he sat and watched the fish swim in the tank with her in the cabin. How the stillness was somehow so loud. Usually there was some sort of music playing, whether something pumping blood through the veins or an instrumental piece that vibrated the strings of your very soul. But not that night. 

She had opened up to him about Legion. How his sacrifice had meant so much. How she felt like herself for the first time in two years. And how she was scared but prepared to do the same. Sacrifice for the good of all if need be. He had supported her with a handhold and supportive silence. She just needed someone to listen. He had shoved his own feelings aside on the matter even though he was terrified of the idea of her sacrifice. He would sacrifice for her a million times over but if she did that for him? No, he refused to think of it.

“Want to watch a movie?” she had asked about an hour in, completely switching the conversation up. 

_As long as I can hold you_ , he wanted to say but chose a simple “sure” instead. 

She smiled, both weary and joyful. She dragged him further into her room and patted the bed while she pulled out a worn out shoe box. She popped off the lid, revealing its contents. It was filled to the brim with mini movie posters. 

“Pick one,” she said, almost grinning now.

He flipped through the flimsy sheets, landing on one titled The Princess Bride. He handed it over.

She snatched it up. “Oh, good pick!” Then she rubbed her hands together. “Okay I want you to close your eyes.”

“Uh… what?”

“Just do it. Trust me,” she said. 

“O—kay,” he said and closed his eyes.

She changed her tone of voice and began to lay out a scene before them. A grandfather telling his grandson a bedtime story called The Princess Bride.

“Is this some kind of story inception?” he asked.

“Shhh, don’t interrupt,” she told him and continued the story. 

It was an absurd love story. Filled with ridiculous plots and accents, fire pits and giant rats and the Dread Pirate Roberts who was really Buttercups true love Westley that she believed to be dead, saving her from an unwanted marriage to a Prince Humperdinck. Oh and Inigo Montoya who finally exacted revenge on the man who killed his father. So many names to follow. But he was pretty proud of himself for keeping up. By the end, Shepard was worn and out of breath. 

James opened his eyes. “So did the kid even appreciate his grandpa's story?”

“If you would let me finish, you would know. But yes, the boy enjoys the story and asks to have it read to him again the next day.”

James nods. “Can I say something?”

“Yeah, of course.”

“I never want to watch a movie with you again.”

She lets out a snort. “All that hard work for nothing.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m impressed just—that was pretty loco.”

“Yeah I guess I can see that.” She shrugged. “It was fun though–for me anyway. It was nice to take my mind off things. So thanks for indulging me.”

She flopped down on the bed and her box clattered to the floor. They both ignored it.

He laid down next to her and combed his fingers through the tuft of hair in front of her eyes. “Next time, we’ll watch a movie my way.”

“As you wish,” she said with a smirk.

And he almost said _I love you_ then but the words got caught in the back of his throat as he met her intimidating gaze. Instead he’d said goodnight and slipped on a movie poster, blushing on his way out of the cabin. He escaped just before he muddied their friendship with his feelings.

* * *

They were dancing in Purgatory, one too many drinks had. A rarity for Shepard. She was always going on about how she didn’t like her inhibitions dulled. But she’d seen too many deaths which led to too many drinks. 

Or something like that.

“Come on, James,” she said while laughing. 

She’d spun around a few times while holding his arm up in the air and he knew she could dance so much better than that. But she seemed so damn happy and happiness for Shep had become scarce in those days. So he didn’t critique her form, just sort of shimmied alongside her. 

“You dance like such a dork,” she said. 

“How do you want me to dance?” He shouted over the bass.

“How you would with anyone else! Don’t make this weird with me.”

What she didn’t get was that she wasn’t really anyone else though. She was Shep, his commanding officer. She was Lola, the woman he loved. 

“We should probably get you to bed before you throw up everywhere. We both know how well you hold your liquor.”

“Not very wellll!” She sung out of tune with the music. 

He gently tugged on her arm, pulling her off the dance floor. 

“No, no, no. I’m not done dancing,” she said while wobbling next to him. Her hip kept bumping into his and he tried to steady her. 

“Yep. You’re done dancing.”

He walked her all the way back to the Normandy and tucked her into her bed. She patted his cheek before she snuggled into her pillow. 

“I love you James Vega, you know that right?”

It caught him off guard when she’d said that. He almost said it back but stopped himself. And he wondered if she meant it. But she couldn’t have. Well not in the way he wanted. She loved him as a friend. Had to be it.

“Alright, Lola. Get some sleep.” 

She closed her eyes and was out in a matter of minutes and he was resolved not to bring up the situation tomorrow. 

* * *

Zero was in the Huerta Memorial Hospital, an incident with her clone gone completely awry. She’d bruised and broken a few ribs and the skin around her left eye was a swollen ball of purple and blue. The medigel was doing its best but she’d be in for at least another day.

She was sleeping when he came in and he took her left hand in his, creating constellations across the top with his thumb. It almost came out in a whisper, _I love you_. But she had stirred at his touch, eyes fluttering open so gentle and calm. 

“God, you look like absolute hell,” she said. 

“Speak for yourself,” he shot back. 

She gave his hand a small squeeze. “When did you last sleep?”

“I don’t know, lost track. Does it matter?”

She started coughing and he let go of her hand to lift her water to her lips. The look she gave was daggers but daggers made of foam as she sipped from the straw.

“Don’t give me your bullshit about being able to care for yourself,” he said before she could say anything.

“Thank you,” she said without a single word of protest. 

He could see them like this forever and always. And he thought about saying those three words again. But the doctor came in and the words were better left unsaid.

* * *

He was in her borrowed apartment, his arms draped over the railing of the loft. He’d just popped in for a quick workout and shower before enjoying his final day of shore leave. But what he’d really wanted was to take the day off with her.

“James,” she said as she was standing next to him, forearm brushed up against his. Which wasn’t out of the ordinary but it had seemed to be more intentional than before. Or maybe it was wishful thinking on his part.

“Yeah, Lola?” He glanced down at her kind of starry eyed. 

“I know you said you don’t fraternize anymore. But…” she glanced down at her hands, picked at her peeling nail polish, then she met his gaze. “I like you a whole hell of a lot. And I think that when this is all over, if I survive this thing, I’ll want to like you for my whole life.”

_I want to love you forever_ , he wanted to say. But he had held her face in his hands, had studied it, for the millionth time. Memorized its scars and marks. Cemented in memory the way her breath almost stilled even as his own heart raced. And then he had kissed her. First it was feather soft, almost as if his lips hadn’t touched hers at all. But then the heat she returned almost overwhelmed him in the best way possible. Their first kiss consumed him and he forgot what he was supposed to say altogether. 

* * *

He had searched for a year before records showed up that she was alive and in a hospital in Vancouver of all places. Earth was still a shitshow but there had been significant improvements as everyone worked together to rebuild. His N7 training was going well but he had taken a weekend to drop everything and be by her side.

She was still suffering from considerable damage and the doctor said she was showing no signs of coming out of her coma anytime soon. Seeing her in such a state tore him up inside but he reminded himself that she was alive. 

_She was alive._

“Lola,” he said while holding her hand, “I should’ve said this to you a long time ago but… I love you. So, if you can just hang on…” He choked on the next words that tried to come out. Buried his face into her hospital gown. “Please, I still need you.” 

And as he held her hand, he felt the weakest squeeze.

“As–you–wish,” she managed to rasp and James’ heart was in his throat. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Happy N7 Day by the way!


End file.
